While it doesn't provide the discomfort and high ticket prices associated with an airport pat-down, a massage is still an effective tool for discovering concealed knives and small firearms. Prove you’re not packing in the most relaxing way with today’s Groupon: for $28, you get a customized 45-minute massage treatment at The Early Dawn Massage Therapy in Chatham (a $55 value).

NYS-licensed therapist Dawn DuBois helms The Early Dawn Massage Therapy, rejuvenating weatherworn soul sacks with myriad customizable massages and therapeutic-grade essential oils. Relax, daydream, or ponder the fragility of string-cheese totem poles as DuBois expunges tension from tendons with a smorgasbord of modalities that range from the sweeping strokes of the Swedish massage to the focused kneads of acupressure. A deep-tissue massage uproots subterranean muscular maladies, and the neuromuscular massage cultivates a calmer chassis by targeting muscular trigger points connected to neural pathways. Alternately, reflexology manipulates a secret control panel in the sole of the foot that many believe can treat bodily ailments and command Manchurian candidates. DuBois can also perform myofacial treatments and the raindrop technique to shepherd stiff sinews toward a state of protoplasmic placidity.