For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. For $30, you get a one-hour custom-tailored massage plus a paraffin dip for your hands or feet at Therapeutic Touch Massage Clinic (a total value of $65), located in Huber Heights, about a 20-minute drive from Dayton. You must be at least 18 years of age to use today's Groupon.

Therapeutic Touch's owner and operator Tami Lipscomb welcomes fellow skin owners into a calming, comfortable environment, specially tailored to enrich the soul and exterminate stress bats from all muscular caves and belfries. Colorful walls bedecked with beach photos set a relaxing mood for any one of her four 60-minute massage services ($60). Once you lay down, Lipscomb will discuss your targeted areas and maneuvering preferences, all catered to your desired pressure levels. She'll then use knot-nullifying hands to perform either the deep, long strokes of Swedish massage, the deeper, localized pressure of the deep-tissue massage, the stress-reducing techniques of the relaxation massage, or the bamboo fusion massage's steady application of warmed bamboo, a comfortable alternative to hot stone massage. Upon completion of a corpus-liberating knead-fest, Lipscomb will offer a paraffin treatment ($5) to either your hands or feet, whereby digits are soothed by a warm wax. Unlike greedy steamboat captains, Lipscomb doesn't ask for tips after your one-hour vacation, instead letting her professional work speak for itself.

Reviews

Although Therapeutic Touch Massage Clinic does not yet have many reviews available, customers provide testimonials on the website:

• My back has never felt better, I am now able to do things pain free I was unable to do before. – Dawanna H
• I still don’t understand how I can be so relaxed that I fall asleep while someone is working on my body. – Pamela S