It takes about 15 muscles to smile, 50 to frown, and 148 to save a curbside couch from life in a landfill. Soothe sympathetic sinews with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour massage at Touch of Healing Therapeutic Massage (a $65 value).

At Touch of Healing, licensed massage therapist Matt Vassei tends to tissues with a variety of massage styles that include deep-tissue, trigger-point-therapy, prenatal, and therapeutic Swedish techniques. Proficient paws spelunk to under-muscle depths in bodies opting for a deep-tissue massage, during which Vassei calms troublesome tissues that harbor tension and steal billy goats that wander across the upper muscular bridge. During a trigger-point-therapy massage, Vassei untangles muscle knots and breaks up painful nodules in the tissue to smooth away discomfort and tame muscle spasms. The long, sweeping strokes of the Swedish massage rinse away stress and banish discomfort to an isolated island full of predatory wyverns. Expectant moms can settle into modified positions with supportive pillows during the prenatal massage, which employs special techniques to help to increase circulation and relax the baby-toting body.