Studies show that a high percentage of Americans consider themselves overweight, and an even higher percentage believe they are being chased by Frankenstein's monster. Alter self-perceptions with today's Groupon: for $285, you get three VelaShape cellulite- and circumference-reduction treatments at Tritt Aesthetic & Plastic Center (a $975 value). Choose to receive your three treatments on one of the following body zones: front of thighs, inner thighs, side of thighs, back of the thighs, buttocks, upper arms, or abs.

Physician Ramie A. Tritt leads a team of affable aestheticians in fine-tuning the appearances of hardworking bodies. During FDA-approved VelaShape treatments, beauty techs endeavor to reduce the amount of cellulite bumps and cellophane clumps clinging to clients by harnessing the power of elos⎯a noninvasive technology that uses radio frequencies and light waves to convince shapes to cinch. With the help of a vacuum, mechanical massage, and heat, the device dislodges stubborn fat cells so that they can exit the body through normal metabolic processes. The machine is also designed to increase blood supply and collagen production, resulting in skin that's radiant and smooth, like a slice of the Aggro Crag.

Clients compare VelaShape sensations to those of a warm deep-tissue massage, and although the procedure involves no downtime, some patients may experience warmth beneath the skin post-session that fades within a few hours, except for those patients currently residing inside a volcano.

At least four treatments over the course of a six-week period are recommended for best results. Customers may purchase up to two Groupons for a total of six treatments.