Cups provide containment for life-sustaining water, protect the tender nether regions, and allow eavesdropping through walls. Combine these benefits with the scrumptiousness of cakes with today’s Groupon: for $14, you get one dozen cupcakes or cheesecake cups at Two Brothers Bakery in Merrillville (a $28.92 value).

Two Brothers Bakery satisfies sweet teeth with adorable, all-natural treats baked four days a week. Ever since their first bite-sized batch, the family-owned stand has stood by a simple credo: “If we can’t pronounce it, we don’t put it in our food.” Though this philosophy precludes chemicals, preservatives, and the savory pulp of French dictionaries, it ensures that fresh and local ingredients burst from each ruffled cupcake holder. Regular flavors include a classic combination of vanilla cake and buttercream, a royal red velvet garnished with a crown of cream-cheese frosting, and a carrot cake baked with the choicest of earth candies. Two Brothers Bakery supplements their classic array of flavors with cheesecake cuppies that remap the boundaries of decadence as taste buds plot a course through mountains of whipped cream.

Because frosting seeds require several days of nourishment before they blossom into desserts, customers should call the bakery to place their order four days in advance. Weekend pick-up requires notice by Wednesday of the preceding week.