What You'll Get
This Groupon gently stretches your muscles and joints, a pleasant sensation sought after by every bungee cord, Laffy Taffy, and Stretch Armstrong. For $45, you get to drop into five yoga asana classes at Unity Woods anytime before December 20, a $100 value. Unity Woods is a prestigious 30-year-old yoga center with clean, spacious studios in four DC-area locations; this Groupon is good at all four: the Bethesda, Woodley Park, Tenleytown, or Arlington studios.
Unity Woods offers asana (posture) and pranayama (breathing) courses for beginners and experienced yogites. This five-class card is good for any drop-in level-one or level-one–two yoga asana class (which usually cost $20 each) between now and December 20. You can hop around to the different studios with your Groupon; classes take place several times a day, seven days a week.
Unity Woods' founder and chief instructor, John Schumacher, has studied in actual India (not that Indiaville Facebook game you caught your boss playing) with B.K.S. Iyengar, one of the world's foremost yoga teachers. His team of friendly, enthusiastic instructors is fully certified and knows how to help students sweat and stretch until they're calmer, more energized, and more revitalized than the 217 rechargeable AA batteries that power Greater America. If you're new to yoga, this is a great chance to learn the downward dog, upward dog, and the Mississippi steamer. Yoga stretches your muscles, relieving stiffness and pain; it also increases flexibility and strength (deep core muscles support each pose), which will improve your range of motion, balance, and posture, all vital to moving up in the corporate world, seeing over the steering wheel, and slicing your morning bagel.
Yo Goga Goga!
With the newfound flexibility bestowed on you by Unity Woods, the stretching and bending doesn’t need to stop at the downward dog. Why not try these other contortionist capers?
- Hollow out your significant other’s anniversary lobster and hide inside its carapace for an awesome romantic reveal.
- Figure out that whole refrigerator-light deal.
- Silence politically diametric opponents at cocktail parties by crawling down their throats and bursting out of their chests. Hint: For a real show-stopper, emerge with a bottle of champagne!
- Finally get that dang penny out of the VCR.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 21, 2009. Amount paid never expires. New customers only. Limit 1 per person. May purchase 1 additional as gift. Only valid for Level 1 or Level 1/2 Asana classes. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.