In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's deal at Urban Nirvana Thai Massage, located on Yonge Street:

• For $44, you get a one-hour Thai massage (a $90 value).
• For $85, you get a one-hour Thai massage for couples (a $180 value).

Urban Nirvana practices Thai massage exclusively, focusing the entirety of their healing energies on this age-old art that leaves clients simultaneously relaxed and invigorated. Your experience begins with an intake form that culls information about your physical state and palliation priorities, enabling practitioners to focus on whatever ails you, be it an achy back or relief from the stresses of commuting to work by house pet. After you change into the provided cotton pants and shirt, the practitioners use palms, forearms, elbows, knees, and feet to lull you into a meditative state. Gentle stretching, muscle manipulation, and acupressure follow the flow of energy meridians to increase flexibility while decreasing tension, leaving ligaments limber and content. Upgrades to Thai Heat Therapy ($15 plus tax) include a steamed herbal compress suffused with herbs such as ginger, camphor, and lemongrass.