Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed away in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s deal: for $35, you get any one-hour massage at V-ssage located off La Riviera Drive and Watt Avenue (up to a $75 value).

V-ssage provides visitors with an opportunity to acquire high-quality massages in a welcoming and relaxing atmosphere that isn’t held under siege by marauding marsupials. Offering the services of the friendly and empathetic Vonda Ricciardi and her nine years of massage-therapy experience, V-ssage boasts an unmatched commitment to relaxation with a variety of massage modalities. Each visitor can choose any one-hour bodywork session, including deep-tissue and sports massages that can enhance muscle performance and relieve injuries; Hawaiian Lomi Lomi, a traditional holistic treatment that mimics a cat's paws to promote digestion and restoration; relaxing Swedish kneads; and targeted trigger-point therapy. Customers will shed stress and anxiety while soothing tense muscles, resulting in a relaxed and limber fleshoskeleton with more pep than a squirrel after a glass of wine.

Part the pea soup with a moment of clarity that will live beyond your visit to V-ssage. Use your newfound clearheadedness and rubberized being to achieve higher productivity, contagiously relax those around you, or finally beat Galaga. Call or send a carrier pigeon to schedule an appointment.

This Groupon is for new clients only.

Reviews

Vonda Ricciardi made CityVoter's Best Of Sacramento List three years in a row: third in 2007, fifth in 2008, and second in 2009:

• Vonda can work wonders in one session. I can definitely attest to V's kindness, ability & capacity to handle some severe muscle issues. – Richard S., CityVoter

Google Mappers and MassageAnywhere reviewers also recommend Vonda:

• The most relaxing hour I have ever experienced! The setting is so calm and serene, I had a hard time staying awake. I visited Vonda to see if she could help reduce some pain I was having in my right arm. I was wearing a wrist brace when I arrived, and within a very short time at the hands of Vonda, the pain subsided. – no1chauffeur, Google Maps
• If you get the chance to experience Vonda's fabulous talent, please give yourself the gift. I so love and appreciate all she does for my physical well-being. I always feel like a brand new human after a session with her. – Anonymous, MassageAnywhere