Giving yourself a massage, like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or asking for your own hand in marriage, is a surefire disappointment. Leave kneading to the knowledgeable with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a relaxation package at Valhalla Wellness and Medical Centers (an $124 total value), including:
- One 50-minute massage (a $79 value)
- One whole-body vibration treatment (a $45 value)
Valhalla Wellness and Medical Centers' resident massage therapist soothes patients' aches and pains with deft handwork in a variety of styles. After choosing an appropriate technique and sinking into the plush top of a massage table, patients subject their muscular knots to 50 minutes of soothing strokes and invigorating kneading that deliver relaxation better than a shipment of poetry-spouting bunnies. Classic Swedish or sports massages target general or deep-rooted tension, and aromatherapy massages stimulate the senses with sweet-smelling oils. The whole-body vibration treatment works in tandem with the massage to further galvanize muscles into more supple states. The vibration session's durration varies, depending on how much movement the patient can tolerate and how many fragile eggs they're holding.