Like house parties, massages give people an excuse to forget about everyday stresses and fall asleep on someone else's table. Attend a fettle-ready fiesta with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a one-hour massage at Valley Wellness Centre (an $85 value).

Valley Wellness Centre's registered massage therapists treat an array of client back ailments in 60-minute massages. At the start of initial treatment sessions, therapists plan a recommended backscape remodelling after reviewing their patient's health history. Depending on each client's health needs and dependence on medieval armour, therapists may knead tense joints, muscles, and tendons using a combination of specialized modalities. Therapists employ back-melting blends of myofascial release, Swedish or Thai massage, and hot-stone placement. Each of the centre's three therapists specializes in different areas of massage, enabling them to treat specific ailments from factors such as stress, injury, and cubism.