For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Need to be kneaded with today’s deal: for $30, you get a customized one-hour Swedish, clinical, integrative, or sports massage (a $60 value) at Wellspring Clinical Massage, located just off I-96 on 3 Mile Road.

Harboring a crew masterfully trained to undo tight knots and calm stormy epidermal seas, Wellspring Clinical Massage works to foster smooth, pain-free life-sailing for your spirit vessel. After a consultation, you will be directed to a therapist based on your world-weary soul sack's individual needs. The expert squad's high-grade clinical strokes can aid in the recovery of injuries, relieve chronic aches and pains, and lessen muscle tension caused by sports mishaps, whiplash, tight muscles, and wildebeest cage matches. The Swedish massage, a relaxing, light- to medium-pressured technique, is the most popular type of knead. It uses long, connective strokes and kneading to improve blood flow, stimulate the lymphatic system, relieve physical tension, and melt stress into a puddle of biodegradable papier-mâché. The sports massage targets the muscle tensions of high-octane athletic gladiators, while integrative massage takes the whole being into account, including medical and emotional history, to create a focused and varied approach to diminish stress and bodily pain. Whichever procedure you undergo, you'll leave Wellspring Clinical Massage's premises with your muscular fibers singing as harmoniously as a barbershop quartet, instead of screeching like the lead singer in a Norwegian death-metal barbershop quartet. Call ahead to make an appointment.

Customer Reviews