Massages are perfect for relieving anxiety, easing pain, and finally providing pet parrots with the supple resting place they deserve. Pamper your bird and your body with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a 60-minute Swedish massage at Your Ultimate Massage (a $70 value).

At Your Ultimate Massage, owner and senior massage therapist Barbara Riche uses her more than 22 years of stress-abating experience to oversee a staff of licensed therapists and guide them towards the path of muscle-mollycoddling mastery. The 60-minute Swedish massage begins with a personalized consultation, allowing the relaxation guru to zero in on specific areas of discomfort. Employing long, broad strokes and a combination of essential oils, the therapist then goes to work on the beleaguered back, triggering circulation, alleviating aches, and forcing tension to melt as fast as a beach ball made of butter. While being treated, clients can sink into supportive pillows that offer cushiony comfort and relationship advice, emerging an hour later with reduced stress, a stimulated nervous system, and a heightened sense of mind-and-body balance.