GROUPON GUIDE
Five Thanksgiving Seating Diagrams for the Best Thanksgiving Ever!
BY: Cody Braun | Nov 22, 2013
Family has flown in from around the country. You’ve spent hours on the turkey. This guide to seating your guests will make sure all your hard work has not been in vain.
Problem 1:
Two members of your extended family don’t get along well. You’re worried they will fight and nobody will have a good time.
Solution: Seat them facing the same way, but as far apart as possible. That way they don’t have to converse or see one another. They’ll make up when they’re good and ready, and the night will be a success!
Problem 2:
Nobody wants to talk to an unpopular uncle.
Solution: Simply seat the unpopular uncle near the trashcan. He’ll want to leave early because of the unpleasant seat, and guests will delight in “accidentally” hitting him with trash. Your Thanksgiving dinner will go down in family history as one of the best.
Problem 3:
Some of the youngsters in the family are able to have very nice conversation with adults, while others are better suited to goofing around at the kids’ table. It’s hard to decide who to seat at the kids’ table.
Solution: As guests arrive, ask every person what the most horrible thing is they’ve ever seen in their lives. Have them really get into detail. By then, you’ll know who has been aged by their awful life experiences and have lots of great conversation starters.
Problem 4:
Several guests who are friends from work arrive together. They don’t seem interested in talking with the other invitees. They just talk about fighting crime and how they can combine into one mega robot who fights crime.
Solution: Ask them to leave the table. Swear vengeance against the gang and their precious Earth for ruining your Thanksgiving!
Problem 5:
You’re hosting dinner in a rowboat that’s big enough to seat exactly two of your guests. The only problem is that the guest list includes a farmer, a fox, a bag of grain, and a chicken. You can’t leave the chicken and the fox together, and you can’t leave the chicken and the grain together. The farmer loves to talk about his job, farming.
Solution: We got this one out of a puzzle book and somebody colored over the answer, not sure.
BY: Cody Braun
Guide Staff Writer
