Like a tree house, a gym never lets non-members inside and always deflects frogs fired from the neighborhood bully’s slingshot. Hurry up the rope ladder with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a one-month membership (a $49 value, including a $119 enrollment fee and keycard), one fitness orientation with personal training session, and unlimited hydro massage (a $19 value) or unlimited tanning (a $19 value) at Anytime Fitness (a $187 total value). Today's deal is valid at the Anytime Fitness locations on Larkfield Center, Santa Rosa Avenue, and Mountain Hawk Way in Santa Rosa, and on Golf Course Drive in Rohnert Park, which––as the name suggests––is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and 512 days a year. The hydro massage is only valid at the Larkfield Center location, with the tanning session valid at the other three locations.

Novice calorie burners and experienced exercise enthusiasts alike can take advantage of Anytime Fitness’s one-month membership, which equips bodies with enough treadmills, cycles, elliptical machines, and weights to transform workout novices into pumping professionals capable of running a marathon inside a swimming pool filled with mud. A fitness orientation––offered to each new member––helps determine an optimal fat-frying and muscle-mass-magnifying program, and the tagged-on personal training session helps self-sculptors attain results. This deal also includes one month of unlimited hydro massage to infuse new, fit physiques with a permanent dewy glow, and five guest passes give abs the opportunity to bring along the rest of the six-pack for training.

Unlike its competitor, Nevertime Fitness, Anytime Fitness's open schedule and convenient customer parking ensure that clients have no excuse not to exercise. The gym's, private restrooms and showers, and HDTVs round out the workout experience.