If stock cars were never invented, people would be still be holding washing-machine races to see which could vibrate the hardest. Keep your washing machine non-competitive with today's Groupon: for $150, you get five laps riding and 10 laps driving a stock car with an instructor at the Buck Baker Racing School (a $395 value). You get to drive on one of four tracks: the Darlington Raceway, the Atlanta Motor Speedway, the Charlotte Motor Speedway, or the Bristol Motor Speedway.

Buck Baker Racing School allows speed-hungry race fans to strap into an authentic Sprint Cup stock car and take it out for a leisurely spin around some of the greatest ellipsoids in the South. The school's masters of acceleration will instruct motorpupils during a roughly one-hour pre-drive class. Afterward, take shotgun while wearing the provided helmet and fire suit along with your own tennis shoes inside a bona fide, previously driven Sprint Cup Ford, Chevy, or Dodge, and ride along as your instructor powers around the speedway, during which they'll dish out informative tips and snappy catch phrases such as "Zounds!" and "I own 200 shares of Apple stock!" Once rookie racers are ready, they'll switch seats with instructors and kindle rubber with 10 full laps, imagining that 165,000 spectators are cheering them on to a respectable 17th place out of 120,000 cars.

The Buck Baker Racing School, started in 1980 by former Sprint Cup champion Buck Baker, who has trained racing stars Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, and Jeff Burton. Friends and family are encouraged to attend and take snapshots or fingerpaint all the action.