Dancing quickly surpassed all other methods of athletic creative expression after being invented by the first human to step in a hill of fire ants. Learn to move like they did in simpler Paleolithic times with today's Groupon: for $27, you and your dance partner get three 30-minute private ballroom-dance lessons, one group lesson, and one practice dance party from Empire Dancesport in Scottsdale. There is a limit of one Groupon per couple.

The dedicated, serious, and bendy instructors at Empire Dancesport will quickly answer any of your questions before introducing you to the elegant set of steps known as ballroom dancing in America and the royal rumba in England. During the three half-hour private lessons, you and your partner will be initiated into the world of dance by starting off on the right foot and then the left foot. The group classes expand the knowledge acquired in the private setting, teaching you how to swing and sway with the masses. To complete your dancing revolution and overthrow the dictatorship of rhythmlessness, Empire Dancesport invites you to attend one of its practice dance parties, which take place on Tuesdays from 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Music, drinks, and the opportunity to learn from your peers are available during each bash.

Although Empire Dancesport doesn't have the power to turn anybody into Fred Astaire—because cloning technology is at least two years away—just about anyone can master new steps and gain dance-floor confidence thanks to diligent and passionate instruction. Once you’ve become a dancing demon, invite your friends, acquaintances, and houseplants to a guest night to strut your swivels and spins. If you sign up for additional instruction through Empire Dancesport, you’ll receive a 10% discount.