Before modern workout regimens, bodybuilders hurled potato sacks into the wind to tone their biceps and took up jobs as ore miners to pump iron. Sculpt your soul sack without a pickax with today's Groupon: for $40, you get a 30-day enrollment in Fit Body Boot Camp (a $227 value), valid at the Naperville and Chicago locations. Boot-camp classes run Monday–Friday in the mornings and Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings at the Naperville location; at the Chicago location, classes are held Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings.

Trainers Zack Todevski, Kosta Shilev, and Anna Vinn helm Fit Body Boot Camp, shepherding patrons through intensive workouts designed to boost metabolism and tone musculature for slimmer, more chiseled edifices. Each body-bolstering session combines both cardio and strength training, drawing together the seven primal movement patterns—squats, bends, lunges, pushes, pulls, twists, and gait-enhancing strides—that hark back to when humans were amoebic ninjas splashing in primordial soup.

On average, campers who put in at least 45 minutes for three to five days a week may drop three to six pounds and 2%–5% body fat over the course of 30 days. Expert fitness gurus encourage clients to work at their own pace, allowing even the most out-of-shape or octagon-shaped person to break a sweat without feeling the heat of competition.