If oil continues to mysteriously evaporate or if donkeys decide to stop pulling Vespas, people will have no choice but to use their limbs as a means for travel. Turn your body into a reliable vehicle with today’s Groupon for a body-sculpting fitness package at Fit2Live on Highway 1 West. Choose between the following options:

• For $49, you get one month of unlimited CrossFit classes (a $145 value).
• For $65, you get four weeks of Women's SummerFit classes (up to a $165 value).

Fit2Live eschews isolating cardio machines in favor of encouraging, collaborative exercise sessions in which students and expert fitness coaches feed off of each other’s positive energies. The CrossFit class works to blast body fat and increase strength and endurance in a 30- to 45-minute cardio-cultivating, circuit-conditioning workout. Led by two to four Fit2Live fitness coaches, each sweat-soaked session utilizes constantly varied full-body movements to assist attendants in overcoming physical plateaus and keeping paranoid left hands questioning the right hand's next move. The torso-tuning tutelage features pre- and post-program body assessments, nutritional packets and information, and a functional movement screen—an on-screen movement system to help individuals maintain proper form to reduce pain and injury.

Ladies looking to slim down in time for summer can register for the Women's SummerFit four-week program, a total body workout designed specifically for women. The 45-minute SummerFit sessions help students burn excess fat, increase stamina, and improve body strength for high-stakes arm-wrestling matches against chore-dodging roommates. Attendants perspire alongside Fit2Live's expert coaches while learning and practicing proper techniques and movements. Classes also feature nutritional guidance, optional grocery-shopping nights, the functional movement screen, and pre- and post-program assessments to chronicle bodily transformations without resorting to Hollywood montage short cuts.