What You'll Get
The most secretive body parts are muscles, which hide behind layers of skin and appear only occasionally to help lift cars off trapped kittens. Flex your biceps in the absence of a cat emergency with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a one-month membership including group fitness classes (a $29.99 value) plus unlimited tanning (a $10 value) at Fit Zone for Women (a $39.95 total value).
Fit Zone for Women pairs members with a fitness professional, who tailors an exercise program to suit each individual's unique needs and goals. A one-month membership unveils an armada of equipment designed exclusively for women, including Nautilus weight machines, which, like an army of soaking-wet pygmy marmosets, add resistance one pound at a time. Large-screen televisions adorn the center's modern cardiovascular training hub, helping hone acute irises to match strengthening heartstrings, and group yoga, Pilates, and step-aerobics classes sculpt sinews as they foster fun and peer-based support.
Though secret societies have terrific members-only benefits, their gorilla-centric initiation rites are often illegal, making fitness membership benefits the more popular choice. Because you'll want to show off your newly toned physique, today's deal also includes one month of unlimited tanning, perfect for getting bronzed in time for bikini season or an exhibitionist wedding.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 17, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 2 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Must activate by 12/17/11, membership expires 1 month from activation date. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.