Like a good horror movie, a good exercise regimen shocks the body out of its lethargy, which is why so many personal trainers chase their clients on treadmills while brandishing anacondas. Get in less terrified shape with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get five 30-minute kettlebell fitness sessions ($10/session) at Functional Fitness (a $50 total value). Classes convene at Clementi's Gladiators Academy in Mandeville.

Functional Fitness sculpts svelte figures with small-group kettlebell classes held weekdays at 5:30 p.m. and 6 p.m. Kettlebell sessions employ various lifting movements to fortify 12 distinct body parts, such as biceps, triceps, and the double bolts that connect the human head to its body. Eight to ten students hoist the elliptical weights according to the whims of a diligent trainer, who includes both cardio and strength training in each workout. Trainees need only bring a bottle of water, a towel, and a pair of opposable thumbs.