Marred by bird attacks, sand traps made from cost-cutting quicksand, and texting-induced cart accidents, golf has surpassed lava surfing and equestrian water polo in annual sports injuries. Solidify your short game in a safe, indoor environment with today’s Groupon, which gets you mini-golf passes at Glowgolf, located in the Glenbrook Square Mall. Choose between the following options:

• For $6, you get two child passes (ages 5–12), good for three games (a $12 value).
• For $8, you get two adult passes (ages 13 and up), good for three games (an $16 value).

Putt-putters can bask in the soothing, phosphorescent splendor of Glowgolf’s mini course as they navigate their illuminated golf ball through glowtopia. Courses contain sights such as light-defying blush corals, incandescent fishes, and lush foliage. Each pass is good for three 18-hole games, giving golfers ample opportunity to out-maneuver any vividly bright and very alive windmills that may appear. Equipment is available on the spot, so you won't risk bending your own putter when you chase after that pesky, good-for-nothing, hole-digging, ball-stealing, and most likely hallucinated gopher.