What You'll Get
Some people say that inner strength matters most, but those same individuals ask for the check the second they get challenged to a table-throwing contest. Build inner and outer strength with today’s Groupon to Impact Health and Fitness. Choose between the following options, or choose both:
- For $39, you get a one-hour Swedish or deep-tissue massage (an $80 value).
- For $159, you get a one-year all-inclusive membership (a $360 value).
Impact Health and Fitness’s fat-killing facility serves health seekers with 28,000 square feet of strength and cardiovascular equipment, 50 weekly exercise classes, tanning services, massage, and professional childcare. Tense muscles reap the relaxing benefits of a one-hour massage, which eases the aches of the body, calms the stressors of the mind, and sings lullabies to nervous-system synapses. Saddle up on the tranquility table and submit your bones to the long, kneading strokes of a Swedish massage, or alleviate tightness and tension with the muscle-mending deep-tissue massage.
Alternatively, Groupon holders can enlist in Impact Health and Fitness’s one-year all-inclusive membership. Settle into a gut-busting groove as you explore the substantial array of strength-training and cardio machines, and spend a year in the clean, comfortable facility losing fat as reliably as Pictionary games against Van Gogh. Pick and choose from a schedule of classes such as morning yoga, afternoon Zumba, and cycling. The all-inclusive membership includes professionally staffed childcare six days a week, allowing clients to lounge in the sauna and steam rooms or cultivate a tan unfettered by little tykes’ constant pontifications about quantum physics.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Oct 19, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. Must activate by 10/19/11, membership expires 1 year from activation date. Valid only for option purchased. Must sign waiver. New clients only. Non-transferable. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.