Although glasses may elicit such hackneyed insults as "four eyes," they also allow wearers to spot those insults coming from greater distances and prepare biting retorts, such as "smooth face" and "bald eyes." Disarm shortsighted shunners with today's Groupon: for $50, you get $150 worth of frames and prescription lenses at Layton Bros. Optical, located in the Taylor Center.

Layton Bros. Optical has peddled spectacles for more than six decades, training sharp eyes on the latest frame fashions and developments in lens technology. The shop's visionaries have carefully curated a unique collection of designer frames (starting at around $65) from Chrome Hearts to Italee and Maui Jim. Touch up your temples with affordably elegant eyewear from Cartier, or opt for optical sleekness with a sporty frame from Oakley.

Because Layton Bros. Optical houses its own laboratory, it can offer one-day service on most prescription lenses (starting at around $49). Curve sunlight to your liking with prescription shades outfitted with polarized lenses, or upgrade clumsy trifocals to Varilux progressive lenses identical to those donned by Theodore Roosevelt during his Tea Party conventions.