Tired of laying grapes across paths and waiting for migrating cattle to stomp out the juice, Romans invented the high-pressure fruit trebuchet to achieve mass mashing. Enjoy the fruits of fruit with today's Groupon: for $29, you get $80 worth of wine from Lions Wine Cellar. This Groupon is only valid for online purchases, and can be used toward tax and the following discounted shipping charges:

• 1–2 bottles: $9.99
• 3–4 bottles: $11.99
• 5–6 bottles: $13.99
• 7–11 bottles: $18.99
• Full case: free

Lions Wine Cellar provides access to a wide-ranging inventory of red, white, and sparkling fermented beverages. Lions can offer its customers competitive, wholesale prices on wine since it is the sole importer and distributor of its vanguard vintages. Each variety is carefully selected from boutique wineries; cases come from a limited number of yearly cases, so any subtle flavor combinations may also include an undeniable hint of exclusivity, which is often mistaken for berry overtones. For those who need a break from a mercilessly breeze-free summer, the brisk, white Domaine Tropez Blanc ($25) offers crisp refreshment straight from the French Riviera, while the drier, berrier, and Frenchier Domaine Mon Mourel rosé ($13.50) deftly wraps melon aromas in sparse shades of blackcurrant. Patriotic wine fans will appreciate Lions' large list of domestic blends, such as the Anthony Dell 2005 Rio Red blend ($22).

Lions Wine Cellar's online home base gives sippers 24/7 access to its small-country-sized collection of vino. Virtual orders will be shipped to the physical world within 24 hours after they are placed. In case anything goes wrong, Lions provides a tracking number and immediate assistance via phone or email.