Enduring tedious treadmills and dull weights for weeks on end can cause blinding rage or legendary singer-songwriter Neil Young to fall into amalgam goo and gain superpowers. Sensualize exercise with today's Groupon: for $30, you get two workshops at PoleLaTeaz (a $70 value). All classes must be completed within 90 days of activation.

PoleLaTeaz's heart-pumping workouts tone muscles, slim waistlines, increase flexibility, and boost students' confidence. Raising sexiness levels 12.5 Zeta-Joneses higher than the national average, workshops last up to 90 minutes, focus on various props, and accommodate all levels of dancing experience. The Sexy Silks aerial silks workshop teaches dancers to move seductively while soaring 3–4 feet off the ground and includes basic moves, conditioning, and a mini routine. Up to 18 pupils learn impressive seated moves during chair-dance workshops, practice lap dances, or shake their butts off during Jiggle It, a session dedicated to the posterior. PoleLaTeaz's down-to-earth instructors help pupils perfect their prowess and burn more calories than the same amount of time spent treadmilling unsexily, climbing stairs, or attacking a punching bag made from recycled car batteries. Due to experience requirements and capacity limitations, students should check the calendar and preregister online. The schedule offers classes on most days of the week, with the majority of scheduled workouts on Saturday and Sunday.