Though commonly thought to be mere gibberish, the letters on eye charts are actually powerful incantations that, when spoken aloud, keep the sky-wolves from devouring the sun. Protect peepers from outside forces with today's Groupon: for $60, you get $150 worth of lenses, frames, or eye-exam services at Premier Vision. This Groupon is not valid with insurance.

Helmed by a quartet of optometrists, Premier Vision outfits clients in an array of eyewear from designer brands including Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana, and Tiffany & Co. and treats peepers to thorough eye exams. Single-vision lenses ($79+) shroud ocular spheres in sight-enhancing spectacles that can improve nearsightedness or night vision during midnight refrigerator raids. An eye exam ($115+) harnesses advanced technology to help detect and treat conditions such as glaucoma, cataracts, and macular degeneration. The vision center also addresses the issue of dry eye with its Center for Dry Eye Relief, targeting environmental factors and renegade dust particles that use the eyes as rodeo arenas.