Earth, an alluring enigma, is balanced in the void of space upon two poles over which it sensuously spins and ineffably shimmies. Harness the power of your polarity with today's Groupon to Sensual Souls Pole Dance and Fitness. Choose from the following options:

• For $10, you get two no-pole fitness classes (a $20 value).
• For $25, you get three pole-dancing classes (up to a $75 value).
• For $99, you get a one-hour pole-dancing party for up to 15 participants (a $200 value).

Sensual Souls Pole Dance and Fitness' staff instructs students in saucy footwork atop a pressure-free dance floor outfitted with six brass poles. Fledgling danseuses can enroll in beginner pole, the first in a series of graduated pole courses designed to instill the fundamentals of the form as well as build strength and flexibility. Once satisfactorily sauntering, intermediate body benders pair pole-steps with musical styles such as hip-hop and heavy-metal klezmer. No-pole fitness sessions include stretch-therapy, tone-and-sculpt strength training, and cardio blast aerobics. Fitness-seekers should check the studio's schedule or send encrypted smoke signals to the staff to decide which classes best suit their desired level of torso-toning.

Alternatively, a one-hour party imparts the pizzazz of pole to a group of up to 15 pals. Under the tutelage of one of Sensual Souls' skillful instructors, gaggles of friends learn the basics of pole dancing and put previous careers as telegraph-pole maintenance workers to good use. Much like the studio's regular curriculum, a pole party targets core strength, fuels flexibility, and builds coordination.