Kayaking is an environmentally friendly alternative to the gas-guzzling hovercrafts that cruise the river in search of schools of fish resembling freeze-dried carrot bits. Meander meaningfully for $40 with today's Groupon: you get a three- to four-hour guided kayak adventure (an $80 value) from the adventure experts at South Texas Kayak. This deal can also be applied toward the cost of kayak camping, fishing, or bird-watching trips (in this case, one Groupon can be used per two people).

With a kayak adventure, Boy Scouts can train for amphibious assaults and families can safely channel Dad-energy away from do-it-yourself electricity generation. Kayakers load up and head out from one of several predetermined places, then everyone paddles back to their pick-up points. One of South Texas Kayak's experienced and exceptionally chill guides teaches basic kayak tips and techniques such as forward sweeps, reverse sweeps, forward stroke, back stroke, ruddering, and the Omniscient Narrator. You'll paddle down the gentle class I and II run as it meanders through the limestone-bluffed splendor of Guadalupe River State Park. Creatures of the wild such as coyote, bobcats, armadillos, and shirtless Matthew McConaughey lope to the river's edge to wave and wish passing kayakers well.

South Texas Kayak uses tough, reliable Native Watercraft kayaks and impenetrable adamantium-enriched safety gear. The supremely cool and habitually rockin' kayak guides answer all questions about safety and preparations here. You'll also get free digital copies of guide photos taken during the trip to share with friends, family, and enemies who suffer at the sight of your boisterous mirth.

Children younger than 12 cannot take a tour.