Contrary to popular belief, the sport of squash has no relation to its gourd counterpart, unlike zucchiniball, which developed after a hardened ratatouille proved particularly suitable for slam dunks. Learn to spar in a vegetable-free environment with today's Groupon: for $20, you get a 75-minute Fast Track beginner or intermediate squash class at Squashlinx in the West End (a $50 value).

Squashlinx fortifies forehands through the experienced eye of Emma Parke, a professional power pummeller currently ranked No. 19 in Canada. The 75-minute Fast Track classes serve as nonintimidating guides to squash's finer points, from Elizabethan heckling to volleying with one's pinky raised. Each class includes complimentary racquet and glasses rentals and includes up to eight lobbers, so everyone gets personalized attention in strengthening his or her strokes. Students sharpen cross-court kills in one of the facility's two courts while burning up to 550 calories per hour in a social and physical activity more refined than high-octane handshaking or bungee tea parties.