Mankind's feeble climbing skills and inability to digest delicious tin cans are two ways in which evolution left humans inferior to goats. Channel an inner mountain goat with today's Groupon to Wallnuts Climbing Centre. Choose from the following options:

• For $89, you get a seven-day Learn to Climb package (a $30.97 value), plus a 10-visit climbing pass (a $115 value) with full equipment rentals (a $70 value; up to a $244.04 total value, including HST).
• For $89, you get a three-month climbing membership (up to a $237.30 value, including HST). Equipment rental is not included with this deal.
For $89, you get a 10-week Junior Program for youths 4–18 years of age (up to a $226 value, including HST). The regular Junior Program fee of $25 is waived with this offer.

Wallnuts Climbing Centre delights ascenders and belayers of all ages and abilities with an array of interactive classes and programs housed in its indoor facilities. Delve into the fundamentals of perpendicular crawling with a Learn to Climb package that introduces pupils to climbing equipment and covers essential safety training with a 45-minute belay course. The package grants nascent scalers seven days of free climbing and full rentals with which to hone their newfound skills, and an additional ten-visit climbing pass with included equipment rentals allows for further practice and ten chances to engage in the opposite of falling. Alternatively, wall-walkers can keep chalked-up mitts in motion with a three-month climbing membership that dons access to the facilities for 12 weeks, the same amount of time it takes to catch a mountain goat and persuade it to become one’s mentor. As equipment is not included with the membership, boulder buffs are encouraged to bring along their own harnesses and climbing shoes.

Those opting for the 10-week Junior Program can unleash their child’s inner fly-on-the-wall with safe and structured programs that outfit pupils in the requisite gear and are helmed by expert instructors. No previous climbing experience is necessary, and each class boasts a 1:4 coach to climber ratio to ensure individual attention. Youthful uphill-battlers develop their climbing credentials with each goal-oriented class, and while there is a competitive aspect to the program, pupils can opt out of partaking in the friendly cliff-conquering rivalries with others and focus instead on besting their own combative shadows.