Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Be a good neighbor with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a 60-minute customized facial at Unique Beauty Salon (a $60 value).
Unique Beauty Salon's aestheticians refresh visages with customized hour-long facials starring Hungarian iLike organic skincare tonics. A skin-type specific cleanser rids faces of dirt, grease, and milk beards before a skinsmith smoothens epidermal acreage with an exfoliant such as rosehip, spinach and horsetail, or a glycolic peel. If needed, adept hands unclog pores with extractions, leaving skin as squeaky clean as Mr. Clean’s tax ledgers. Faces then drink in a moisturizing mask as upper bodies and shoe occupants relax against the calming strokes of massage.