1. You can embrace your true travel style.

Having done a good deal of solo travel in my college years, I already knew that I have an incredibly particular way of traveling. I am part detail-oriented scheduler, part freewheeling wanderer—not an easy balance to strike. And as great a travel partner as Alex is, compromises are inevitable (and great!). But on your own, the only whims you have to please are your own.

Want to leave all your planning until the last possible second? Do it!

Want to have a meticulous itinerary for every day? Go ahead!

Want to skip the museum to read a book in the park? You can!

For me, this meant breezing through museums. I like to pause at the things that interest me or catch my eye, and it doesn't bother me to skip things that don't. Alex could spend all day examining every painting or artifact in every exhibit. Flying through at my own pace was oddly liberating!

2. Changing your plans isn't a big deal.

Coming up with a plan is one thing, but changing it up just because the mood strikes you? That's when it gets even tougher because now you've got to have a whole new debate: do you both agree? What's the new plan? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do instead?

Travelling alone, though, there's no navigating what needs to be done once you change your mind. One of the most freeing moments of my trip was my morning at the Royal Botanic Garden in Edinburgh. The plan was to catch a cab to Leith, a nearby town where I'd booked lunch for myself, but it was a lovely day. The sun was peeking out from behind the clouds and the garden was just about in full bloom filling the air with the scent of a dozen different flowers and on a complete whim I decided, "Screw it! I'm gonna walk!"

So I hoofed it along a riverside trail for 2 miles until I reached the seaside. Whether or not Alex would have wanted to do it with me was irrelevant because I didn't need to think about anything beyond, "I wanna do that!" And then I did it.

3. Relaxation is easier to find.

Everyone is different, but I've always had an easier time relaxing when I'm on my own. I'm a doer and a people pleaser by nature and often just being around other people makes me more inclined to want to take charge. I want everyone to have a good time! But that's not actually super conducive to, y'know, relaxing.

But that changes when you're on your own, not just away from your partner, but more importantly, away from literally all of your obligations at home. Which means you can figure out exactly what that means to you. For me, it meant carving out time to read, write, and wander with the same amount of dedication that I used to plan out afternoons in museums and tours of castles. For me, some of my most relaxing and self-indulgent moments came when I decided to skip another night out to enjoy the apartment I'd rented and finish a book or to suddenly stop what I was doing to sit in a sunny patch of grass in a park that was too tempting to pass by.

4. You'll rediscover your appreciation for each other.

There's something to be said for the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder." We've only been married since 2016, but we've been living and even working together since 2012 and have been together since 2007. Neither of us need to travel for our jobs, which means that we just haven't had to deal with any significant time apart. While that certainly makes us lucky in some respects, it also made it easy to forget just how reinvigorating some time apart could be.

It was suddenly easier to see the ways Alex is truly the best travel buddy I've ever had. I missed the way his level-headedness had become the yin to my anxiety-filled yang. In fact, I was so terrified that the 3 a.m. cab I'd ordered to take me to the Edinburgh airport wouldn't show up, I basically didn't sleep, which meant my first day in Brussels was rough to say the least. I powered through, but I knew it would've been easier with someone to lean on. And then once I was home? It felt like we had a thousand more things to say, and we were even more excited to start planning our next big trip.

. . .

Ultimately, I've always loved travel and traveling solo after such a long hiatus was a true treat, even with the ups and downs. Yes, it was a bit of a rude awakening when I checked into my first apartment and suddenly remembered that when I last backpacked Europe, I was still hosteling, where common rooms and bunks were brimming with fellow travelers and conversation came easy. My apartments were lovely, but socializing was hard, and I definitely hit a wall one night and had to deal with the loneliness.

Though I ended up finding ways to see even those moments in a new light; when you've got no choice but to deal with the bumps in the road as they come, you can surprise yourself with the way you step up to the plate.