Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today’s Groupon: for $19, you get an ionic footbath at Holistic Healing Health (a $45 value).

At Holistic Healing Health, experienced staffers immerse toes in ionized water, whose positive and negative ions may draw toxins out of the skin. The baths rely on a control unit that delivers an electrical current in the bath fluid, causing the metals to take on a positive or negative charge. Those charged particles then attract charged particles within the body, drawing them closer together in a manner similar to that of the gravitational pull of bumper cars. Each treatment may last 30 minutes, ample time to target the symptoms of sickness and attempt to stymie the aging process. Holistic Healing Health's team recommends ionic footbaths for anyone trying to boost the metabolism, relieve pain, or reverse the effects of sleeping on a giant magnet. While waiting for their treatment, clients can sit comfortably on a cushioned couch and admire the statuettes and candles that fleck the carpetscape.