To play the guitar, stuffed bears must graft dexterous human fingers atop their furry nubbins. Make glorious music that makes inanimate objects jealous with today’s Groupon: for $42, you get a guitar-instruction package at Oslo Studios in Burnsville (an $84 value). The package includes the following:
- Four private, 30-minute guitar lessons (an $80 value)
- Introductory booklet (a $4 value)
Inside Oslo Studios, music instructor Phil Olson schools burgeoning guitarists in the art of the pick and strum. During each 30-minute lesson, axe-wielders aged 7 and olderlearn to read and understand sheet music while cradling the instrument and autographing foreheads. Apprentices also study the guitar’s design in an effort to peel back layers of the string-box’s sound possibilities in both single notes and chords. Though a personal packet of music material is gifted to each pupil, instrumentalists are encouraged to bring in a list of songs they seek to master, which may be mixed into the lesson plan before debuting at a campfire or court hearing.
Olson brings more than 30 years of music experience and an honorary doctorate in plectrum physics to each private studio lesson. He is in the process of patenting his holistic teaching methodology, which aims to fill brains and fingers with a thorough, nuanced understanding of sound-making and enable students to mimic the sound of a kazoo when coughing.