The Tooth Fairy is a burglarizing fetishist specializing in black-market ivory trade, and she must be stopped. Today’s Groupon helps keep teeth in mouths and out of the hands of maniacal, winged phantasms: for $49, you get a dental checkup at Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Assoc. in Levittown (a $325 value). The checkup includes the following:
- Bitewing x-rays<p>
Along with fellow tooth enthusiasts Dr. Lorraine Sirgany and Dr. Erin Thomas, Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz keeps smiles healthy, clean, and happy with regular checkups and polishings. An appointment begins with a gentle inspection, in which the dentist examines the mouth for tartar, gum disease, and forgotten passwords. Then, bitewing x-rays peek between the teeth and behind the enamel, where cavities sometimes lurk. The service concludes with a thorough cleaning to evict plaque and make pearly whites glow with pride. Like lunar eclipses, preventive visits last about an hour and can be scheduled for daytime, evenings, or weekends.