Smooth skin is like freshly frosted birthday cake: it looks so delicious that no one cares how old you are. Flaunt face cakes with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a diamond microdermabrasion facial at The Art of Bliss (a $70 value).

The Art of Bliss refurbishes weatherworn head facades with the beautification science of microdermabrasion. The 60-minute procedure opens with a session of deep cleansing and steam. Customers lie back while experienced specialists abrade their faces, necks, and décolletage on a microscopic level. Like hip-hop wizards, they wield diamond-encrusted wands, gently buffing away layers of dead skin. By reducing epidermal thickness, the treatment helps to fade scars, lines, and excessive pigmentation. A skin-correcting mask completes the visit, leaving fleshly carapaces smooth, hydrated, and refreshed.

Optional features are available at an added cost: infusions of pure collagen and elastin replenish epidermal proteins, and eyelash and eyebrow tinting eliminate the need for daily makeup. The diamond microdermabrasion facial also comes with a free moisturizing treatment for the five-fingered friends at the end of arms, to reward them for not making obscene gestures at the mailman.