Despite their destructive cinematic depictions, most lasers are content with assisting slideshow presentations and translating DVDs for people who don’t speak fluent binary. Embrace the altruistic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum with today’s Groupon to LoHi Lipo Laser. Choose from the following options:

• For $349, you get five Zerona neck and chin laser treatments at (a $700 value) and a 50-minute infrared sauna session (a $50 value, total $750 value)
• For $999, you get six Zerona body-slimming laser treatments at (a $2,500 value) and a 50-minute infrared sauna session (a $50 value, total $2,550 value)<p>

Led by Dr. Jake Simpson, the figure-shaping team at LoHi Lipo Laser smoothes the appearance of cellulite with 45-minute noninvasive Zerona laser treatments. As clients recline on a massage table or levitate in mid-air, Zerona-certified technicians pass the laser over the skin, where it liquefies the cell-bound fat and releases it into the space between cells. The lymphatic system absorbs and metabolizes the fat, ushering it toward the exits. While lasers battle fat cells beneath the surface, clients read, meditate, or read about dogs who meditate. The Zerona laser targets specific hard-to-exercise areas and can show smoother skin in six sessions. Alternatively, 20-minute neck and chin treatments send chub from those areas to roam on a bucolic prairie. Both options also include a 50-minute infrared sauna session, which dilates blood vessels for a circulation boost, stimulating the cardiovascular and metabolic systems that effect greater weight loss.

The ceiling-high windows in LoHi Lipo Laser’s waiting room let in plenty of natural light for identifying last-minute trouble spots or signs of vampirism. The clinic’s modern loft space is brought down to earth by touches of greenery and soothing dark wood accents.

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