Although body-exchange programs mean no one ever has to stay in one meat suit for long, returning yours in bad condition means you forfeit your deposit. Keep your constitution in returnable condition with today's Groupon to BRfit. Choose from the following options:
- For $20, you get four one-hour group training sessions (a $40 value)
- For $25, you get a one-hour personal training session (a $60 value)
A fitness center with three experienced, certified trainers, BRfit tailors each new member's workout according to individual problems diagnosed during a functional movement screening. The screening roots out irregular movement patterns, then prescribes exercises and stretches to correct any problems caused by having a crab torso or cherub wings. Group training is divided into two phases. The first employs a brigade of exercises to roust degenerate muscles detected in the screening. The second phase is a workout that takes the body on a heart-pumping metabolic thrill ride that lasts 40 minutes and ends with the police chief giving back your badge and gun. Personal training sessions hew exercise even more closely to personal goals and movement screening results. Group sessions must be used within four weeks of your first visit; consult the schedule to find sessions that don't conflict with your visit to the offworld colonies.