Seventeenth-century shipping routes drastically improved once navigators began referring to actual maps of waterways instead of the veins on their thighs. Steer clear of veiny skin with today's Groupon: for $99, you get two spider-vein treatments at Dimitri Dermatology, redeemable at the Slidell, Kenner, Gretna, and Covington locations (a $300 value).
Dimitri Dermatology liberates skin of pestilent spider veins with sclerotherapy procedures. During treatments, a member of Dr. Elizabeth Dimitri’s team first injects the offending epidermal arachnids with a solution that forces vessels to swell and self-bind. As the treated blood clots, veins begin to recoil like bashful pythons, ultimately admitting defeat and fading from view. Sclerotherapy requires no downtime (although strenuous activity is discouraged) and typically incurs only slight redness at the remedied area. Two sessions are usually sufficient for complete vein banishment, although especially ornery squatters may require additional treatments.