What You'll Get
In emergency situations, moonlight reflected off pearly whites creates a beaming beacon that registers in the canine-visible spectrum of light. Today's Groupon equips your smile with brightness that definitely will one day save your life: for $99, you get a teeth whitening and cosmetic consultation from Dr. Gruezke's Family Dentistry.
A visit to the Harvey dental practice promises a friendly staff that will make you feel more at home than the unfriendly staff at your current home. After a visual examination of your teeth, a full cosmetic consultation with the friendly doctor will mimic 12th-grade visits to the guidance counselor with a chat about your pie-hole's potential. The doc will present you with a variety of available options to direct you on the right path toward a Daytime Emmy Award–winning smile. You'll be sent home with a week's worth of Nite White do-it-yourself teeth-whitening products to administer before bed for 5–7 nights. As you slumber, Nite White's mild solution of teeth-bleaching peroxides will labor like a camp of miniature Zambonis to scrub away food, coffee, tobacco, and syrup stains, leaving your smile embrightened and betwinkled.
A white and pearly set of chompers not only advertises to the world your superior set of mouth-bones, it also helps ensure that every stolen picture that pesky paparazzo Fred snaps turns out beautifully. Call ahead for an appointment at the friendly dentistry, and reap the benefits of a glowing smile.
Dr. Gruezke's patients recommend him with glowing testimonials:
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires May 24, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. By appointment only. Teeth must be plaque & tartar free for procedure. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.