Though commonly thought to be mere gibberish, the letters on eye charts are actually powerful incantations that, when spoken aloud, keep the sky-wolves from devouring the sun. Keep the sun spinning with today's Groupon: for $2,400, you get all-laser LASIK surgery in both eyes from Dr. Sheri Rowen (a $5,400 value). Prior to the procedure, all patients must undergo a thorough examination to confirm their eligibility for LASIK. If patients are not eligible, they will receive a full refund.

When she's not lecturing nationally and internationally, Dr. Sheri Rowen finds the time to lead an expert staff in LASIK and advanced eye surgeries, among many other offered treatments. An excellent option for those tired of inserting contacts or cleaning binoculars halfway through job interviews, LASIK surgery can successfully transform eyes stymied by astigmatism, nearsightedness, or farsightedness into sharp-sighted peepers. Wielding a state-of-the-art Allegretto Wavelight laser, which tracks the motion of the eye for optimum control, the doctor carefully reshapes the cornea using only lasers, an advanced method that can diminish the risk of aftereffects such as halos and glare. LASIK is an outpatient surgery that lasts less than an hour and typically involves minimal discomfort, allowing most patients to resume normal activities within a day and enjoy clearer vision immediately. Prior to the procedure, all patients meet with the doctor to determine eligibility—those over 18 with a stable, lower prescription tend to be strong candidates—as well as to discuss the possible risks, rewards, and anagrams of LASIK.