Hannibal was deemed the the funniest person in Chicago by Time Out Magazine, and you don’t have to look much further than his appearance on the Late Late Show to understand why:
So the performer is a shoe-in… but what’s it like to see comedy live, and is Zanie’s a good place to see it? It’s not the first time I’ve been asked - you see, I’m a connoisseur of fine live comedy, but most of my friends get all their laughs from cable TV. They often ask me, “friend, what’s live comedy like in today’s world?”
So I always tell them, I says, “Do you like clowns in tiny cars?” And they says “yes, of course.” And then I tells them I says “Do you like it when they pull people off the stage with them canes?” And of course they’re like “you know it.” And so I says, “How about fake mustaches and oversized noses attached to those googly eyed glasses?” By then they’re already laughin’ their fannies off just thinkin’ about all the hilarity, and they usually say something like “Friend, you know I love that, come on now.”
That’s when I tell them, “well then you’ll LOVE Zanie’s Comedy Club.” See Zanie’s takes these fundamentals of classic comedy and evolves them so they’re relevant in the context of the times. Much like modern athletes have broken previously unbreakable records with the help of new technology and performance enhancing drugs, Zanie’s has taken advantage of modern scientific innovations to provide record-breaking comedy.
Take the ever-funny two-fingered eye poke. Improved with comedy enhancing drugs, it actually goes through the recipient’s skull and hilariously explodes their brain out the backside of their head. Unless of course it’s blocked by the modern defensive hand block, which is significantly improved by modern razor fiber fabric, slicing the poking hand in half uproariously.
Nor has slipping on banana peels ever been funnier. With genetically modified bananas designed to shoot highly-acidic banana flesh everywhere upon impact, the banana slip at Zanie’s has become side-splittingly brutal.
And the old embarrassing pants-falling-down-to-the-tune-of-a-slide-whistle gag will never seem quite as funny without being accompanied by Zanie’s modern replacement for the slide whistle: an inaudible 7 Hertz bass frequency blasted through 50,000 Watt amplifier over four 60 inch sub-woofers, creating the previously elusive “brown tone” which renders the comedic subject hysterically incontinent, perfectly timed with the dropping of the pants.
Now I can’t promise that you’ll see any of these innovations in Hannibal’s act, but I’m sure he’ll provide a few of his own.
Vancouver Kiteboarding School
The International Kiteboarding Association–certified instructors at Vancouver Kiteboarding School skip the stale classroom environment and instead lead courses taught entirely on the water, where kiteboarders can cut across waves and soar into the air. The teachers aim to introduce novices to the joys of the sport as well as help experienced boarders progress to advanced levels. Instructors never adhere to predetermined lesson plans, and instead change their curriculum as the water conditions change. This flexibility allows the skilled kiteboarders to teach their pupils how to navigate, catch air, and play fetch with a whale amid the ocean's ever-changing landscape.