More people than ever are living a sedentary lifestyle: waking up in their racecar beds, driving to work in their racecars, sitting for eight hours in the passenger seats of experimental racecars as men in lab coats slam them into concrete walls, and then driving home again. Race to fitness with today's Groupon: for $40, you get a nutritional consultation and personalized diet plan at Ignite Nutrition (a $120 value).
The alimentary advisers of Ignite Nutrition consider each client's individual habits before devising a personalized dietary strategy and exercise regimen. During the 30-minute consultation, anti-sedentarites appraise current dietary and exercise habits and establish whether goals entail weight loss or a deep tan achieved by binging on carrots. The nutritional consultant also dispenses tips on effective workout routines and healthy food-prep methods. After the session, clients go home with a temporary diet plan to refer to until their own fully fleshed diet plan-of-action arrives approximately one week later via newfangled email. This personalized plan pivots on a timeline that denotes the role of water intake in weight loss, proper ratios of proteins and carbohydrates to fats and sugars, and the time of day when meals should be eaten to avoid gastrointestinal gridlock. Groupon holders can also indulge in 10% off in-store nutritional supplements and half off future nutritional consultations.