While it doesn't provide the discomfort and high ticket prices associated with an airport pat-down, a massage is still an effective tool for discovering concealed knives and small firearms. Prove you’re not packing in the most relaxing way with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour Swedish massage (a $60 value) at Integrated Massage Therapy Center Inc. at either of its locations in Stow or Oakwood Village.
Swedish massage, a technique using light to medium pressure, is one of the most popular types of kneads in the massage therapist's tool box. It uses long, connective strokes to improve blood flow, stimulate the lymphatic system, relieve physical tension, and melt stress into a puddle of biodegradable papier-mâché. It can also flush lactic acid, uric acid, and metabolic wastes from tissues, speeding up recovery time from most common anvil-related injuries. Composed within serene confines, the Swedish massage's glissading strokes shepherd bodies of all conditions—from weatherworn soul sacks to mint condition edifices—into a soothing realm of protoplasmic placidity. The massage maestro follows up the procedure with advice on how to remain as loose as an unassembled IKEA goose using nutrition and exercise.