Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get a one-hour therapeutic massage at Ka Hale Ola Massage in Aiea (a $50 value).
A licensed staff of massage mavens soothes overstressed muscles with manual healing powers administered in a variety of therapeutic modalities, from the firm pressures of Shiatsu and trigger-point release massage to the spiritual forearm and elbow strokes of Lomi Lomi. Customers can opt to dress down to a towel or stay fully clothed while a therapist kneads away pockets of posterior stress with Swedish strokes or exorcises malignant muscle poltergeists with acupressure. The multifarious physical and mental benefits of massage therapy include reduced hypertension, improved circulation and flexibility, and osmotic acquisition of primitive sign-language dialects.
After the one-hour massage, therapists recommend water, rest, and a warm bath to flush out free-floating toxins that have been coaxed from stress-laden muscles. Therapists also warn about the hazardous potency of post-massage bliss, which has led many to walk peaceably through the DMV or engage in cuddle matches with perturbed tiger sharks.
98-200 Kamehameha Hwy.
Aiea, Hawaii 96701Get Directions