What You'll Get
In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour massage (a $60 value) at kneading your knots in Lodi.
The owner and bodywork buff of kneading your knots, Rona Rivera, relieves stressed-out backsides through a variety of massage disciplines. After an initial consultation, up to 15 different techniques, such as shiatsu, deep tissue, and aromatherapy, are incorporated into your 60-minute serenity session. The varied process manipulates the muscles of average cotton-gin operators into frenzies of relaxation, freeing up bodies and souls to scale underwater mountain ranges and solve high-stakes sudoku puzzles.
Clients reemerge into the outer atmosphere with fewer aches and pains and tension-free shoulders, backs, and cranial cavities. Online booking is available, and both new and old clients are welcome to use this Groupon.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Jul 25, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 add'l as a gift. By app't only. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.