What You'll Get
Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $30, you get a 75-minute combination massage at Naturally Balanced Living in Streetsboro (a $65 value).
Naturally Balanced Living's licensed muscle-mender, Rick DiGioia, repairs corrupted human hardware with a combination of restorative massage techniques. During the 75-minute session, his professional stylings change from relaxing to therapeutic, lulling the nervous system into a state of deep sedation and venting dammed-up stress like water out a whale’s blowhole. The de-stressing savant will work on clients' specific problem areas on request, relieving kinked necks, cramping lower backs, or thumbs sore from texting with an additional allotment of kneading. The full-body or torso-only tenderizing manipulates sore, achy, and stressed-out soul sacks into a newly loose and limber physicality.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 20, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.