Doc Holliday gave up dentistry for gunfighting when he realized the latter was a more exciting way to make people say, "Ah!" Quick hands can only help you grab today’s Groupon to Optimum Dental in Falls Church. Choose between the following options:

• For $179, you get a Zoom! whitening treatment (a $599 value).
• For $239, you get a Zoom! whitening treatment, dental exam, cleaning, and x-rays (an $824 value).

Dentist duo Dr. Taran Kaur and Dr. Susan Pleva foster chompers' health by performing services that rely on high-tech equipment. Impart a pearly façade on less-than-lustrous teeth with Zoom! whitening, a permanent color changer that takes less than an hour to set. During the procedure, mouth mavens shelter lips and gums, leaving only teeth and tonsil piercings exposed. The specially formulated Zoom! gel then coats the teeth before all 32 pearlies laze together beneath the Zoom! lamp. Designed to work in tandem, the gel and glow from the lamp break down stains and discoloration below the surface. The on-staff whitening whiz will re-apply the formula three times, leaving tongue caves to smile beneath the spotlight and re-enact the opening credits from Rocky Horror Picture Show. When finished, teeth will be visibly whiter, and, if properly maintained, can remain lighter.

Tack on an extra 30 minutes of teeth-centric attention by opting for the full check. A full cleaning scours mouths to remove plaque, grime, and cavities full of spies unaware that World War Two is over. Once sparkling, calcium stacks will undergo digital x-rays, affording dentists a clear look at oral inner workings and possible problems. The dentist finishes by reviewing her findings and discussing any necessary treatments.