Humans are just as adept at changing colors as chameleons; they turn red when embarrassed, green when ill, and blue when banging on percussive tubes in Man Group meetings. Show your true colors with today’s Groupon to Pacific Coast Tans, valid at either location. Choose between the following options:
- For $32, you get one full-body airbrush tan (a $65 value).
- For $32, you get one month of unlimited Silver-level tanning (a $65 value).
The trained technicians at Pacific Coast Tans beautify their patrons’ skin with a fleet of faux-sunning equipment, including microvapor airbrushes and Soltron Kiss tanning beds. Pumping an alcohol-free bronzer through the Norvell Sunless Airbrush system, a staff member custom-mists clients with a sunless tan in 20–30 minutes, the same amount of time it takes astronauts to harvest the tanning formula from the sun’s gooey center. Lasting up to two weeks, each application of sprayed-on pigment further spruces skin with a moisturizing coat of aloe vera, Vitamin E, and lutein.
Patrons hoping to bask in the glory of an artificial sun without taking on the identity of a greenhouse-dwelling snapdragon can opt for the month-long tanning membership, which swaddles light-bathers in the glow of the Soltron Kiss bed’s 32 lamps. Each bed has a satellite radio with volume and station controls, suitable for boogying to bumping beats in time with your thumping melanin production.