Everyone remembers hearing someone say, "If that music doesn't have dozens of clarinets tooting their notes, making the sounds come out of the end that the mouth doesn't go, then no thank you, sir!" Here's why so many people are loving the clarinet:

• The clarinet has a warm, mellow tone, not like the trumpet, which just sounds like a big pile of garbage that's sitting there stinking it up but also making musical noises.
  

• The clarinet is easy on the eyes, with all that straightness. That trumpet has sleek, alluring curves. You want kids looking at that? No, thank you.
  

• You can take a clarinet apart. Can you take a trumpet apart? No, not just the mouthpiece. I'm talking about really taking it apart. You can do that to a good ol' woodstraw (a clarinet). Trust me.
  

• There are dozens of famous clarinet players, such as Woody Allen and all those men that Woody Allen plays clarinet with. The only trumpet player who is remotely famous is the man whose life inspired the Broadway musical The Music Man, and he's probably dead.